Audio recordings of the four meetings held in February, 2009

2009 02 04 Meeting

Continuation of the discussion of fear from previous meeting. Eloheim introduced a new concept: the fear freeway.

On being a light worker.

Fear is a choice.

The payoff for living consciously.

Adrenaline junkies.

Questions answered in this meeting include:

Can we find the body’s fear switch so that we can turn off the fear and open to all possibilities?

How to override the survival instinct when getting pulled over?

The body’s fear switch.

Feeling the other side.

The other crayons in the box.

You have the golden ticket.

Look for the aha!

It could be more.

Is there a picture on how we can rewrite the neural pathways?

Acknowledge it before you can heal it.

I want to create a different life for myself.

Why the twelve step program works.

2009 02 11 audio download

Eloheim recaps the topic of fear and invited everyone present to dialog about how they are re-experiencing fear.
Questions answered in this meeting include:

Fear is a static attachment to a moment in time. Very do-able new habit.
A lot of the pain in my body has been from terror but if I notice it my shoulders can drop.

The day goes by and I don’t notice that I’ve accomplished anything and I get mad at myself.

Ego is getting more interested in a life purpose.

When you say mind are you talking about the brain?

CFO for non-profit. Excited that I was going to be my grown up self in this meeting. I knew I wouldn’t be perfect but I knew I was going to show up and feel like I was conscious.

Event happened. I felt like I had choices instead of the past but not being able to see the choices.

I have the experience of being more fear than not. Gut wrenching fear. A lot of it is around judgment coming back to self worth.
Is it similar to surrendering?
Willing to be willing.

I have all the fear plus I have pissiness.

Sometimes when I feel like I’m too focused on my growth I’ll just veg out.

Part of the pain is about becoming awake about our actions?

Maui month “working on it” numerous fears. If trip fails, then what am I going to motivate myself with? Goes on with list of fears. This trip has been my reason for living. Housing, money, what if I hate it there.

Would it be useful for me to make a list of all my fears? They’re all over the place.
Eloheim talks about cascading and consecutive fears.

What if I can’t find a place that I can afford?

I try to get clearer and clearer about what I want so that I find it it will kick in.

If the cascading takes you there is it better to work with the earliest …

I feel as if there are all these things I should worry about.

Does it feel kind of weird because she couldn’t participate?

You have to be vigilant that you’re not numbing out. Same button gets pushed. It’s tiresome.

Just about to nod off to sleep and gigantic wave of fear comes along.

Would it be useful to write them down to find things that you didn’t realize was underlying all of the fears and that would be the one that you could work on.
In this clip, they describe two different fear patterns.

This clip is especially interesting as you can see how Eloheim develops a concept and then build on it as the meeting continues.”

2009 02 18 Meeting

Eloheim addresses the story Veronica told about the policeman.

Our interest in adrenaline in elation and in survival mode.

What to do when the fight or flight response kicks in.

What to ask oneself when presented with fear.

How to stay present during a fear based situation.

A brief summary on where we’ve been and where we are headed.

Questions answered in this meeting include:
Being grateful for the lesson.

Eloheim asks each participant ‘What’s the aha here’?

I feel like I’m under the adrenaline rush all the time.

I’m actually okay in this moment. Things are going well because of the consciousness that I do in everything in my life.

I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Crayon names are interesting now as well. “Happier ever after” instead of brick red.

I feel that I am vibrating in harmony with my surroundings these days.

How would you put that then?

I realized that I go into an adrenaline rush every time I have to speak in this group. I don’t know what to say.

Eloheim defines thought and insight.

It’s a conscious choice to allow for the aha?

What about when you’re at work? Linear thinking happens there.
Time on your hands, I feel like I have to fill it.

I’m grateful to see myself making progress. Parking of the car. Space is right where I needed it. Since my accident I have been more in the moment.

Body rushes and expansion. At the same time body feels like shit. Things that are happening now would have scared me in the past but now I feel like I’m practicing. I’m in awe of life at this point.

I think of it as breaking energetic ties and there’s a rebound. There’s an additional response.

I’m stuck in this fear. Looking at old photographs and putting things away. Crayons.

I don’t seem to have a lot of adrenaline fears but I do have fear and I have to recognize it. They’re not as obvious. I work around them so they don’t go to adrenaline fears.

For me it’s just like being pushed in the corner that I just don’t like.

(Talks about hip/leg/ankle issues of a woman that she is working with.)

I have both kinds of adrenaline going over the last few weeks. I’m not being in neutral observation.

I’ve had some incredible connection experiences happening but no real aha’s. Tells a story about living in a place that doesn’t have exactly what she wants but is near a whale sanctuary. Wake up!

I’ve been asking myself what am I learning here all the time. But maybe I’ll starting asking where is the aha? Because that invites aha’s.

I look for the same type of people that I like to dance with.

You have your eyes open a lot tonight. How do you see through Veronica’s eyes?

How far can we take this?

I’m tired, uninterested, lack of motivation.

2009 02 25 Meeting

First meeting where Eloheim came through with my eyes open for the entire meeting. The week before, there were long stretches of eyes open and in the intervening days, the private sessions were all done eyes open. However, when this meeting started it was eyes open from the start!
Eloheim’s monologue:

Just don’t bring your baggage with you to the moment.

Let’s talk about the ways baggage has shown up.

The stories you tell about the moment.

Your soul’s perspective.

Baggage is going to look for your attention and that’s when the fears pop up.

What do I do?

What is the aha?

You have work to do in your inner world.

Questions answered in this meeting include:

Can you give us an example?

I was thinking about what’s going on out there is really what’s going on in here, so focusing here and clean up what’s blocking inside…

Eloheim talks about confused fear.

I was responding to a house guest as my dad did, which was scary.

I need to let things mellow out… patterns that I think I’m supposed to be doing something.

Holding the baggage. Holding on to the baggage. Hanging on to it.

That brings up playing the role of playing the watchdog – it’s so deeply ingrained.

I still feel I’m reactionary in certain situations where I feel I have to be the rescuer.

How does that baggage fade away?

How do you let it go? I’m hearing that it’s not the charge dissipates, it’s that your vibratory rate rises.

…she said she has been spending a lot of time with someone she despises and she can’t get away from her. She sees herself in her. It is inspiring her to change her behavior.

I’m conscious but think there are other things going on that I’m not conscious of. So I’m there and then I’m not.

You shift, I shift, they shift. That’s a lot of shifting.

For two weeks I felt like all I wanted to do was check out. This is really hard. Before that I was in fully present and ecstatic. Then I crashed. I got more conscious of how it happened but I couldn’t get to the blissful state. Then I woke up and got an aha – shifted into the next vibrational frequency. It’s like I went through a portal. The aha was it’s really a matter of choice. It’s all around you all the time. Are you of the vibration that you can say I’m choosing that?

That brings the idea back to mastery with oneself. It’s just choosing and staying conscious as a master within yourself you take responsibility fully for everything and you also know that you are the mastery of everything you’re creating. It’s ended. There is no more out there. You guys are it and you have every tool you need.

You might be saying I’ve been working on this forever there has to be something else that’s deeper.

Engaging strictly with habit of fear.

My soul has a lesson that it is learning – through lack of money in my life I’m learning my spiritual lessons in this lifetime. That was an aha for me. Isn’t there a way to shift that?

Carlos Castaneda talked about that. You can appear to be any age you want to be.

Did I connect with the energy of Lois? Shin splints.

I started retracing – I asked my body to go through the pain that was let go. There were still some strands there.

Lost my friend, grief, that could have been me four months ago. What I really want to work on is my body is healing – I am so afraid of driving. I’m afraid I’m going to hit a pedestrian now. I’m afraid I’m going to manifest it.