2019-05

May 5, 2019

I found this meeting VERY powerful. I included (in the audio recording) my comments that happened before I turned on the camera as they were referenced later in the session.

Prioritize Your Internal Experience

Eloheim:
It’s all been laid at your feet, and your opportunity is here to say this is important enough to me to prioritize it. This is an inside job here, folks, that of prioritizing your internal experience. How much of me is committed to this? We can’t do it for you. It’s all on you. This movement from allowing Personality to dictate my day into seeking Awareness in every now is a top priority.

Veronica has declared that no nows get to be given away. She was struggling, and we said to her she has to do better. She agreed. Like a coach will do, we are pushing her, because being in Awareness is what she wants. It’s not do-to-get, it’s being in Awareness more often. That level of paying attention has generated discomfort and disorientation as the pattern is being disrupted. The new pattern can feel amazing and it can feel weird. It will affect your body, your outlook, and how you feel. The transformation affects things.

What we’re seeing with Veronica is that Personality keeps throwing up more and more stories, trying to find something that sticks. These are the stories that are most ingrained, and Personality doubles down on these areas. For Veronica, it happens to be around money. And when Veronica gets fierce about something, she gets really fierce and stubborn about it. She is challenging Personality to do her worst on the money aspect. As you can imagine, this feels crazy, but that’s the degree to which she is committed.

Go back to your tools and see what can help you get out of Personality. For Veronica, it’s the Velcro tool and some attitude. Bring it. And every time she does it, her Body freaks out! So whatever your thing is, the place where Personality has it’s claws in really deep, that’s the place to not have Velcro.

There’s a level of fierceness needed now. You set down the distractions and pick up the focus. Every now is an opportunity. Every now is a doorway. There’s no now that isn’t a doorway or an opportunity to be in Awareness, and there’s no excuse or justification for it not to be one. Be present. “This is My First Choice” is the tool for this. There’s a fierceness to it to choose to be in this moment, in every moment, to engage with clarity.

This creates magnetism. The Law of Magnetism is another tool of ours you can use. You want to magnetise yourself? Be present, feel into Awareness, feel the sense of clarity, invest in that clarity rather than running back to Personality. It makes you magnetic to opportunity, clarity, people, places, and things.

That’s three tools that can be used to help you move into and deepen and mine your Awareness so that clarity arises. Be cautious you don’t take Awareness experiences into Personality to be evaluated. Choosing your reactions to your experiences means choosing to stay in Awareness even after you get the first clarity. What if you stayed in the first clarity? Now you get another clarity. You’re investing in Awareness, deepening your connections to clarity, staying on the Awareness side of the line.

Don’t let a now go by that you don’t ask of it to give you a doorway to Awareness or you deepen your experience of Awareness. “Don’t skip over your nows” evolves to “don’t skip over doorways to Awareness” which every single now is.

Q: Are we a new person every billionth of a second? Is this where you are going to?

Physically your body is changing every second. Where we are going is we’re making a gigantic change from a limited perspective to seeing yourself from an Awareness perspective, to “It’s all me,” the entirety of physicality. We’re a little ways away from that conversation being visceral, we’ll get there. The idea is that when you no longer have the Personality definition of “I,” your experience of “I” is visceral. Your experience of “I” is the entirety of physicality. We’re easing into that. We’re step by stepping into recalibrating what you mean when you use the word “I.” It has been trapped in Personality and the survival instinct’s perspective. Now it’s being freed into the perspective that your Awareness offers. It is utterly different and indescribable by Personality. How it shows up is going to be discovered by you. Then the Healed Personality version will be like the documentary filmmaker as it observes and chronicles and witnesses that unique and amazing evolutionary jump. None of this has to make sense to you now but it’s good for it to be floating in your Awareness.

Remember, if any of you had consistently gotten to Level 4 (Choose Your Reactions to Your Creations) in this lifetime, we would have considered this a rousing success. And here we are talking about Level 9, Level 10. So wow! You guys are incredible! The fact that you’re kind of accelerating is really interesting to us. There’s an acceleration of your passion for the ideas and what they do in your life. You’re way ahead of expectation or schedule. You’re like those child prodigies. What do we put in front of you, how do we find the right balance? You had us on our toes for awhile but now we’ve figured out what we’re going to do. However, you still have to train your muscles and practice. So here we are. You’re in deep training like an athlete, a musical prodigy, a member of the SEAL team. You’re pushing the envelope. We’re inviting evolution through an internal choice. You’re choosing in every single now.

Don’t fall for the idea that Awareness is boring and numb and neutral and you need Personality to be unique. Who says all the Awarenesses are the same? Of course your Awareness is unique from someone else’s! On top of that, you build your name and your body. Personality is just a smidgen of the vast amount of uniqueness of your Awareness. Healed Personality’s job is to go “whoa, dude!” to the amazing expression of unfettered Awareness in physical. “I” will be defined in a new way that will still feel like you, just in a more expansive way. It will not feel like some stranger took over your body, it will feel like, why did I let myself settle for limitation all those years?

A take-away from today would be to identify the place where Personality has its hooks in you and to use it as a doorway, a reminder to go into Awareness every time that pops up. Do this not to get answers. Personality wants answers. Awareness doesn’t give answers. It gives expansion and exploration.

We want to speak from Awareness to Awareness. We want to start digging into what it’s like to be in Awareness consistently. We know you might not be there all the time, but you can use lots of things to shift you into Awareness. Now our job is to stand in Awareness and let you match until you can hold in Awareness yourself.

May 8, 2019

Check-In

We have been focused a lot on getting to the point when we can be speaking from Awareness to Awareness and making that a steady state, on being as diligent as possible. So, we want to have a check in on how you’re doing with this.

-Donna talked about her homework, describing her progress and the one specific deep claw that Personality has in her.

Eloheim: I am no longer giving this now away to the claw. You all have one or two deep claws where Personality spins out, and it feels extra hard. When that subject pops up, be very skeptical of any messages you get because they’re going to be from Personality. Let those claws be your bell ringing that says, here’s a now I’m giving to Personality. What is the Awareness alternative?

You have to be more vigilant when Personality is spinning a tale on you. You have to call b.s. on Personality’s yarn spins and gaslighting. Step back and ask, is that even close to accurate? And just because you have a strong body reaction doesn’t mean it’s true. The reality is that the body is rarely on the Awareness side of the line. If all of a sudden you’re feeling uncomfortable or panicky or in despair, it’s on the Personality side of the line. Instead, I don’t engage with it. I get present as possible. I stop thinking. I surrender the temptation to engage or wonder about any of that. I experience this now with all the presence I can bring to it to maximize the opportunity to activate Awareness in this now. For Veronica, it’s been hard and exhausting, and it’s also liberating a lot of visceral experiences that have been, in the past, just notions.

We have tried many avenues but haven’t yet convinced any of you of the idea of “it’s all me.” You say, we’re not the couch, not the chair, not the carpet, Eloheim! We hear you. We haven’t talked about the sensory system in awhile. The sensory system and the “it’s all me” sensory system. You’re activating your non-nervous system information resource. You’re getting information outside of your nervous system. It’s information that you got that didn’t come from pondering, from someone telling you, from reading, hearing, smelling or touching. It comes from some other place. We’re reminding you about the sensory system again, but we don’t actually expect people to have a deep and profound clarity about the sensory system yet. It’s taking the body piece and putting on the Awareness side of the line consistently, and you’re not there yet. It’s getting a clarity and letting it be. It’s deepening your experience of the clarity by staying on and leaving it on the Awareness side of the line.

-Every time I have an Awareness, Personality gets in there with doubts and questions, and beats on the door. A couple of times I ran with it out of habit, but I did catch it. Veronica is right, it is exhausting.

Eloheim: When you’re the best at something like an athlete is, you probably put in the hours. We’re not looking for you to try to get Olympic medals. We’re saying that that kind of focus and dedication is a model for what it’s going to take to break the habit of milennia of Earth incarnations as Homo sapiens who are driven by Personality and run by the Survival Instinct.

No external validation is being received or offered and is unheard of, but it’s what you’re doing. Not only are you not asking, you’re not needing a trophy or a crown or external validation of what you have done. The only indicator that you seek is a transformed experience. You tell us when it happens because we don’t know unless you do. We can only keep telling you when you’re stuck in Personality. And you keep going ’cause it’s awesome!

We can’t even describe what we’re doing. Not quickly, not easily and not thoroughly. This requires effort and commitment and not everyone wants to put in that much effort.

-Lately I’ve been putting myself in places with strangers, like joining a book club. When I’m in the company of strangers, I get it. I recognise when everyone is in Personality, and I don’t want to match it. I discovered I can be the one they match energetically, and it’s cool.

-The body piece-I found the tools and doorways I have been using all along needed to change. I was drawn back to my fascination with animal communication. That space feels like Awareness. I don’t get to be in charge of receiving. It was cool to shift from efforting and get-shit-done to listening. It feels like another doorway to Awareness.

Eloheim: Having impulses present themselves from other sources than your thinking system is what we call the sensory system. The body is on the other side of the line, for the most part, still. The emotional response to stimulus is on the on the Personality side of the line still. Treat those messages with suspicion. Especially if it has to do with SI and fear and uncertainty, chances are it’s all on the Personality side of the line. You do not know with any strong knowing to experience those emotional states from the Awareness side of the line yet.

-My dad recently passed away. I traveled to Boston and back. It was good.

Do you feel Personality ran the show while you were back there? That’s a minefield for Personality.

-I don’t feel Personality ran the show, completely…. I don’t fill the role like I used to, that of entertainer. I spoke third instead of first at the funeral. That’s different from what I did at my mom’s funeral two years ago. After I spoke, I did wonder if it was too much Personality.

Eloheim asked what it was like for him, not what the crowd thought. How did it feel for him?

-I wanted to be an example, to be there for my kids. And it is still a tender place.

E: Grief makes a huge request because the body has such an outsized response to it, and it’s super tempting to process it all through Personality. We encourage you to be present when it flares up and honor where you are with it. “How I feel right now is…” blank. Try to ground it into today.

-A long time ago you said to me when I was feeling nostalgic about hearing a certain song, “why would you want to be back there with that song instead of where you are right now?”

Eloheim: Now we can update that to, why would you want to be in Personality when you can be in Awareness with it? How does it connect to 2019-you?

Homework time! Find a song you used to listen to that brings up memories. What did it make you think of, what is it like to practice bringing that song into the current version of you? This is a great doorway. A great way to say, those songs are on the Personality side of the doorway because they freak you out and take you to the past. Now what does it look like when that song is on the other side of the line?

May 19, 2019

Plop: Your Thoughts and Feelings Don’t Matter

Before we turned on the recording, Veronica shared that there has been a lot of ways Personality and Awareness have been showing up, and it has never been more obvious. The way we evaluate this is-the difference between the two states is getting more and more obvious. That is progress, albeit a bit uncomfortable.

We’ve been talking to you folks about the Personality/Awareness thing for a long time and have been pushing to get to the point where can just speak to your Awareness and not have to engage with your Personality. We want to do that today. Our job is to put out the next thing. It’s been difficult to know where the middle of the community is so we can move it forward without anyone feeling left behind. So, let us know if you’re feeling that because we don’t know if you don’t tell us.

Your thoughts don’t matter and your feelings don’t matter. Your thoughts are not what’s important and your feelings are not what’s important. Every single thought you’ve ever had and every single feeling you ever experienced have all been filtered through the lens of Personality. That lens is a lens of limitation. That lens is driven by the SI and dictated by fear and pulled into the past and the future. Every single thing you know, every single thing you’ve thought and every single thing you’ve felt have all been filtered by Personality. Your experiences of Awareness up until this point have all been primarily a bounce off of Personality. You notice you’re in Personality and you become aware of that. You bounce off that using every tool we’ve come up with and land in Awareness. Your experience is a rebound off of Personality. Our ambition is to have Awareness experiences exclusively, with no Personality in the vicinity.

One of the challenges for Veronica recently is we told her this information and she started to not let any of her thoughts and feelings matter. It’s been heavy. And hard. She went about navigating the world saying my thoughts don’t matter, and that wasn’t too bad. No thoughts. No feelings is a whole new spectrum of confusion. What kind of feelings are we talking about? All of them need to be suspect. So she said, I can’t think and I can’t use my feelings like I used to, what’s left? It felt heavy to operate that way, but she didn’t just walk away.

We know some people are going to have a problem with this idea. It’s similar to when we said years ago, “you don’t know anything.” We got hate mail for that! We were trying to get you to stop relying on your brain as the dominant interface to your reality. Look inside and ask yourself, have my feelings been processed exclusively by my Personality? If it’s true, don’t send us hate mail, work on it!

Personality tells you through your thoughts what’s allowed and what’s not allowed. It has a very narrow window. When you’re in Awareness and all of a sudden the sensory system kicks in, the big temptation is to take whatever occurs and cram it into one of the experiences Personality doles out to you that you know how to use and label. You have a sensory system experience and you try to make sense of it using Personality, and that always is going to mean limitation. So when we tell you that your feelings have less legitimacy than you have previously experienced them to have, it’s the same thing. Your feelings are coming from a source that is limited. That doesn’t mean you will never feel. It means you have to engage the sensory system in order to have the Awareness-based interface with the Big-B Body.

The sensory system is to Awareness what the nervous system is to Personality (Sensory system>Awareness. Nervous system>Personality). You know the difference between Personality and Awareness, so now we are trying to activate the difference between the nervous system and the sensory system. We totally get that it’s going to be weird to perceive without it hitting your nervous system. Perceptions will also be processed through the physical but it won’t be the exclusive domain of your nervous system. Your mouth moves to make sounds and lets food in. The same kind of thing is true with your nervous system, but you only get the Personality’s allowance of those experiences.

So when you’re having an Awareness experience, you try to make sense of it using Personality. Everything gets dragged over and filtered through Personality. If you just park it where you got it, in the sensory system, it will feel different. For Veronica, it feels “over there,” or far away from her gingerbread shape. When you have these sensory system experiences, don’t be surprised when they don’t feel like nervous system experiences because they’re not supposed to. Don’t be surprised if they’re subtle and unusual and weird, they’re supposed to. And leave them where you find them, like a book on the shelf. Don’t drag them through the filter of the Personality. This is an idea which will probably make more sense down the road. We like the idea of the book on the shelf. There’s so much information in a library, and the Field of Infinite Possibilities is like a library (i.e. the Akashic records). You don’t try to carry all those books around with you. That library is constantly there. You access the book when you need it. And access means where you put your focus. Your focus allows the fractal to unfold.

We’re at the point now where you know Personality is not enough. So, what is? Using the sensory system to navigate the now. Like the healed Personality, we end up with the healed version of the nervous system down the road. Healed Personality will use the nervous system to report it’s experience, to witness, and chronicle. It’s time for those feelings you get from the gingerbread shape to be actually fueled from a healed place rather than the SI and fear and lack and insecurities and frustrations. And we’re blown away that we’re talking about this in this lifetime! This was not probable!

What happens when you have a feeling? Take, for example, pride. My kid worked hard and she’s being noticed and I’m proud of her and that feels good. None of those feelings aren’t something you wouldn’t expect or imagine. They’re all Personality because we can assume that’s how we would feel. What is it like to be in Awareness and be totally present to that? What is it like if you just get insights or ahas and just leave them?

-I feel glimpses of this at moments. One time, I felt like I was in Disneyworld. It was at the edges of my vision while I was focusing on something else. The moment I turned and brought it over, it was gone.

E: Perfect example of leaving it over there. I’m having an extrasensory experience and I have to be careful not to make sense of it. Leave it where you find it. How long can it last if you don’t try to make sense of it? You let your sensory system give you that gift.

-When you said that your feelings don’t matter, I felt P trying to interfere.

E: Yeah, we figured that Personality would try to have its way about that so we just decided to be super blunt about it. There’s a lot of freedom when this becomes a visceral truth for you. “Only Personality cares about that” is something Veronica likes to say. It’s an upgrade of “it’s none of my business.” Only Personality cares about that. We just tackled you, Personality. Try again.

-Are bodily experiences like eating, sports, hiking, sex more to do with the sensory system?

E: No, those are nervous system experiences processed through your Personality. So, we have to start looking at how they can start to engage the sensory system. One of the ways Veronica handles it is to say, and that’s not all there is to this experience. This feeling is limited by Personality’s filter.

We will be talking about this for months to come. All these different ways that the nervous system and gingerbread body have been interpreting your world, and all that has been limited and filtered. You only get Personality’s opinion about it. We’re accessing potential here. You don’t get to have the giant mall experience at your corner store. If you’re standing on the moon, looking at the Earth, what do you see? Now stand on the sun and look at the moon and the Earth what do you see? You have to be willing to say, what Personality has offered me to this point is not where I’m willing to stop.

This is a plop meeting. The going forward would be no thinking, and when you’re having feelings, emotions, and sensations, say, “and…” This is still only what Personality is allowing me to experience. Catch it and notice so we can start working on this concept together.

May 22, 2019

Refuse to Dally
Please note: At the end of this session, Fred used his time to download/uplevel me by removing some of the filters that P is using to keep out the sensory system. I’ve been reliably informed that on the audio it sounds like I’m being tortured. It was intense at the time and resulted in POWERFUL shifts for me!

Guardians: Transformation. A time of change. Here’s the thing about transformational time-the temptation is to take the transformation that occurs in Awareness and drag it back in Personality and process it in familiar ways. You end up processing it through a filter of limitation. Be very cautious that any new and amazing insights, ahas, or clarities you have, you have to leave it where you found it. Don’t grab it and try to make sense of it or think about it a bunch. Let it feel different. Let it allow itself to unfold without having to constrict or modify it. Leave it where it happens. Let it open and bloom as it sits in Awareness.

Practice noticing when a clarity arises that you leave it where you found it. Be vigilant about this dynamic. The faster you get where insights stay in Awareness, the faster you’re going to be in Awareness all the time.

Visionaries: When you start to have Awareness experiences and they start to feel very different than what you are used to, what you must, must, must do is not expect it to be like it is in Personality! In Personality when you think about something, you can force yourself to put your mind to it and think and think some more. When you’re in Awareness and a clarity arises and it’s blooming and unfolding, it doesn’t then kick you into more thinking about it. You allow it to unfold. That means you can have big spaces where it feels like nothing is happening. You can force yourself to have ideas in Personality. In Awareness, it can feel open and empty. You’re allowing that space to unfold. There’s a space between ahas where you want to continue to abide in Awareness rather than forcing some kind of action.

Remember, you don’t go into Awareness to get answers or instruction. You go into Awareness to access the FIP to receive clarity and to allow things to open and bloom in you. Experience and explore. It’s All Me. Watch It Move. Level 7&8. Until the clarity arises which offers choiceless choice for action and movement-Level 9-that’s what’s happening. Leave it over there where you may not feel a clear direction yet you’re holding in that space and allowing it to bloom. Be willing to hold in that space that allows this expansion and opening to continue.

It’s going to feel completely different. Personality will tell you all kinds of nasty things to keep you from doing this. Only you can decide if you refuse to listen.

Eloheim: The filtration of the Personality is what we’re looking at right now. Personality only gives you ten or twelve options and anything that occurs has to fit in those boxes, and that’s all you get from what Personality allows you to have. What we’re getting down to now, it’s time to be super honest and blunt about the whole thing, and it’s this: every experience you’ve ever had in your entire life has been filtered through Personality. Thus it has been filtered through a significant amount of limitation. So that means every thought and every feeling has been filtered by Personality, and that makes them suspect. The opportunity, rather than accepting the limitation of Personality, is to activate the sensory system about your feelings and your sensations and your emotions.

Personality uses the nervous system. Awareness uses the sensory system-which is the it’s-all-me-accessing-the-completeness or the FIP. I have a feeling, and all I know about it is what the Personality has offered me. And if I want more than just what Personality is offering, I have to put myself in a space where I’m accessing Awareness in this now.

It’s not something we expect everyone to snap your fingers and turn on. What we want is everyone to say, it’s just a fact. Everything you’ve ever experienced is filtered through the Personality, and it’s suspect. it’s not a place to judge, beat yourself up, or feel like you’re falling behind, it’s just a space where you say, I’ve only experienced this through the Personality, and I am willing to have more. Your feelings are only the smallest little smidgen of what Personality has given you of an experience that you can have from Awareness instead. What does matter is that I have never had an Awareness experience of this feeling and I want it, and I am willing to do what it takes to get it.

Personality has its hooks in you on one or two subjects, maybe more, and as the rest dissipate, it doubles down on those things it knows it can screw you up on. If you know what those things are that Personality can beat you up on all day long, it’s an excellent way to catch yourself when you’re dallying in Personality. It’s a clue. For Veronica, it’s money and men. Money and men can hold her in Personality and abuse her in a thousand ways on these topics. It’s red alert time when either of those things come up. For the first time, when one of those subjects came up recently, she defaulted to Awareness first. Yay! And since then, things are changing and transforming like big rocks rolling downhill. All these amazing and surprising things have happened, one after another. The doorway opened, petal after petal of the rose has opened in all these surprising ways.

Refuse to dally with Personality when it throws out those hooks. Make that time when you’re allowing unfettered Personality to drive the show before you catch it to get shorter and shorter and shorter until it stops existing. It was not an easy process for Veronica but the other side of the line has been quite fun in surprising and unplanned ways.

At this point, Eloheim explored specific Personality situations with the group members and offered ways to get into Awareness with them. The sandpaper subjects discussed were sports, driving, and relationships.

Warrior: Eloheim’s doing a little ass-kicking. Eloheim does it a little gentler than we would do it. But we can do it, if you ever do want it done, all you have to do is ask! You’re in a battle with your unhealed Personality. Right now you’re in a contest of wills between your unhealed Personality and your desire for evolution. Are you one who sits on the sidelines and just waits to see how it turns out? No! Wade in there. Say, I won’t have it! The way it’s been has not led me to the life I know is possible! I will not listen to the enemy’s words as it tries to talk me down from my righteous stance! You need to be fierce. You will not surrender to the habit of limitation that is attempting to run the show.

You have so much on your side! You have fifteen plus years of weapons. You know what Personality has? It whispers. That’s all it’s got. It whispers…you suck-you suck-you suck in this super specific way. It knows exactly what to say to make you doubt yourself the most. And you fall down and say, okay, I suck, you win. We say, cannonball him! Be done with him! You’re badass warriors and he’s a skinny little f-er who whispers you suck! He’s not good enough to even stand on the battlefield with you. You have to be fierce about this and you have to recognize how much strength you have. You have built such a force to be reckoned with but you let that skinny little f-er get in your head telling you how you should be. You need to just tell him to cut it out! Send him running!

You see the difference between our ass-kicking and Eloheim’s??

Girls: Look at that, the Warrior getting all riled up on your behalf! How do you follow that? When you look at their example it makes it plain, doesn’t it? When that whisper of “you suck” is happening, you forget that respect that you have for yourself, you just let it evaporate. Wait. Wait. Are you really going to give up on all that work we did together to love and respect and honor yourself? All that just goes? Does it mean that little to you? What power you give that guy who whispers those things to you. That voice cannot be the loudest voice in your life, that voice does not get to override everything we’ve done together. We will not have that. You have worked too hard and done too much and accomplished more than anyone in this universe imagined to give up now, to let the I-suck voice win. So whether you like the ways we or one of the others said it, as long as one of them gets through to you. This is nonsense, and it’s time to put down those old toys so you can live the life you were meant to live.

Fred: We’re pushing, as you can probably tell, a new update into Veronica.

The group stood by as Veronica was being worked on by Fred. It looked quite rigorous. Veronica ended the meeting there as she had nothing left in her to continue on after they were finished.